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Friday, November 18, 2005

10 things I hate about Macs

OK, I don't think I've made this clear before, so here goes:

I hate macs.

There. Done. But for your benefit, here are ten reasons off the top of my head that I do.

10. They're expensive. So what, the mac mini's only $500. I can buy or build a decent PC for that much, and not have reason #3 taken to the extreme.

9. That stupid apple key - What is an "open apple?" where is the "closed apple?" And what's with this up-arrow-funny-t-looking-symbol-squiggly-line-x-G supposed to do for me? Is that supposed to be a shortcut? How am I supposed to remember such craziness?

8. The home/end keys don't work like they should. For instance, I press home now and what does it do? Take me to the beginning of the line like a good home key? Nope, it tries to page me down. What use is that? And the delete key. Why does the backspace key say delete? And why does the other delete key do it the other way? And my favorite, why can I delete, say, a file with backspace, but not delete?

7. Numlock - why doesn't the numlock key exist on most macs? What if somehow the number pad got switched off, and I want to do some 10-keying? All that's there is the "clear" button? What happens if I press that? I want to type, not destroy!

6. They don't have a decent office suite Office for Mac? That's just wrong. Microsoft and mac should not mix. And who uses AppleWorks?

5. They're crash-happy. So PC's crash every now and then. I've seen a lot more macs crash. Growll.

4. They're cute. Sure, having it all-in-one makes it easy to move and cuts down on clutter, and I have to admit that I even like the look of the funny ones with the monitor on a swivel rod coming out of a domey computer. But mostly, I don't need cute. I need functional. Also, as a result...

3. They are hard to modify. Not that I don't like a challenge now and then, but I like to be able to make my computer like I want it, not like some designer in a big puffy chair wants it to be.

2. They are so incredibly incompatible. Does Windows 2000 have to start up Windows 98 to run SkiFree? No. It just works. Whereas if I want to run, say, SimpleText in OS X, I have to wait five minutes for the classic environment to start up. What a pain!

1. For goodness' sake, they've still only got one button. Sorry, Ctrl-Click just doesn't cut it.

OK, now that I've said that, I have to say, I can tolerate OS X. It works OK, and it's pretty. I especially like the dock. But it's still mac, and I still don't like how it works. And there is #2 to worry about. I've got the super-awesome (not to mention free) ObjectDock on my PC, and that's all I need.
Oh, and all this doesn't mean I'm a Microsoft fan. As you can tell from my previous posts, I'm a fan of open source, the epitome of which is Linux. I like Linux better than anything. I came up with analogy for this phenomenon. Mac is the H2 of my world. I hate them. I'd take them only if I didn't have a choice. Windows is the original Hummer. Far better than the H2 and definitely a choice, I like it. Linux is the Humvee. The best, by far, but kind of hard to switch to with others in the house who aren't as geeky as I, just as the Humvee is difficult to use anywhere except the middle of the desert, where everybody else is fighting as well. So, alas and alack, I have to settle for the Hummer. But I'm not crying about it.

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